In looking for your life partner consider your attitude; are you thinking “because the perfect partner is meant to make me happy”
Think again! whoever you choose as life partner, in your interactions with your spouse, can you avoid learning the sutras of life? Will the ideal partner be such that he/she won’t make you learn patience or tolerance?
Please start approaching marriage and the research for your partner with a mood of entering a phase of life of intense learning and working hard on yourself towards the better YOU. It’s not just about how splendid the honeymoon will be or how gorgeous you will look together on your wedding day!
Your success in marriage won’t depend only on finding the right person; it will depend very much also on being the right person: “If both the husband and wife are endowed with good qualities and live peacefully, then nice children take birth, and thus the whole family and the society is happy and prosperous.”
So what kind of life partner should you pray for ? Pray sincerely for a partner who will help you grow in your spiritual path.
Cultivate the powerful principles of love, selflessness, forgiveness and tolerance before you enter the next phase of life through regular Sadhana, Satsang and Seva. Read books such as Narada Bhakti Sutra by H H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. and “An Intimate Note To The Sincere Seeker” by H H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar regularly.
Open Communication, & Keen Observation
The woman might expect that her soulmate or potential life-partner would already know all about her needs and desires, and that she doesn’t have to share anything; or the man might take for granted that his wife would cook breakfast, lunch and dinner (and few snacks in between), keep the house and his clothes spotlessly clean and jump as soon as he barks an order or a request. These are serious misconceptions: Men often don’t understand what the wife wants unless told; and women have their own minds, personalities and limits – and might have plans about their professional lives too. So, talking and understanding each others needs after marriage and before tying the knot (and throughout life together) is essential.
Creating expectations based on imagination or ideology and thinking that they are self-evident to all and perfectly realistic is a very risky path to tread. Make sure you clarify expectations through some frank and open dialogue. The reality is that if you want the other to know what you think, you have to speak up!
Meet your would be life partner multiple times, observe and listen keenly to all aspects of his/her behaviour in different situations. Encourage your prospective spouse to be open and help you understand his/her expectations. What are your spouse’s biggest fears and goals. Observe his/ her weakness, and strengths. Ask yourself if you are willing to live with the weakness and strengths of your spouse?. Your significant other can help you thrive through embracing life opportunities. Or can hinder your ability to thrive by making it less likely that you’ll pursue opportunities for growth.”
Look out for examples of questions to be asked to the prospective spouse in the Art of Living Matrimony website. Register yourself at the Art of Living Matrimony to find the life partner who will encourage you to grow in the path and experience true happiness !